Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Dr. Teeth

Liam hates to have his teeth brushed.  I mean seriously hates it, with the fire of a thousand suns. 

Our bedtime routine includes toothbrushing, and he will only willingly put the brush in his mouth long enough to suck off the tiny bit of toothpaste we grant him.  Then he proceeds to brush the pillow, or little lamb, or one of his books.  But not his teeth.

We beg and plead and definitely give him a chance to brush his teeth peacefully, but this struggle usually devolves into one of us laying him flat on the bed, and straddling him in order to pin his arms down.  Then the other one holds his head still and together we try to pry his mouth open and sweep the brush quickly over his teeth, all the while trying not to get bitten.

It is awful.

Today I took Liam to his very first dentist appointment.   I expected the worst, and for good reason, obviously.

This child - THIS CHILD - made a complete fool out of me.  He sat in the big chair all by himself.  He opened his mouth wide.  He let the dental hygenist put a mirror in his mouth.  He opened his mouth wide and let her brush his teeth - ALL of his teeth.  For a good two minutes.  He let her floss his teeth. (HE FRAKING LET HER FLOSS HIS TEETH. ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME?)  He let her brush his teeth again.  And he didn't make a peep. 

I sat there, aghast, thinking I had perhaps stumbled into a parallel universe where my child was actually well-behaved and cooperative.  It was confusing and wonderful.  I want to go back to there.

Then the dentist came in and he freaked out.  "That's more like it," I thought.  Until he settled down and let the dentist stick another mirror in there.  Let him stick his fingers in his mouth and poke around (and DIDN'T bite him).  Opened and closed his jaw on command.

Who was this kid!?

They sent us home with a new toothbrush and some dental floss.  I told the hygenist we expected her at our house at bedtime, because she is apparently magic.  Also, I'd like to keep all my fingers.


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